The Not-Good Day

Yesterday was just one of those days that started out bad, and kept getting worse.
First, I was woken up at 6am by my in-laws, who were preparing leave our house. Dont ask me why my MIL had to use her incredibly loud hairdryer at 6am, but she did. I was less than overjoyed about waking up so early. The weather set the tone for the day: dark, dreary, pouring down rain.
I laid in bed for awhile, until my alarm went off, and got myself ready to babysit. Drove the 5 yr old to kindergarden. I was about 3 mins late dropping him off, and he was mad about it!
From there, I was going to pick up Hannah, who was begging to see her best friend Rosie... and I got into a car accident! It was raining, the roads were wet and slippery, and my brakes locked up going downhill. I rear-ended two handicapped old ladies! Talk about feeling horrible. No one was injured, since at most I was going 20 miles an hour, but I still felt terribly gulty. My bumper is embossed with the other car's license plate, and has a crack in it. The bumper looks awful, but its ok, and I didnt see any damage tp their 16-year old car.They very much wanted to file a police report, but it took an officer an HOUR to get to the accident scene, and when he did, he dismissed us, saying in a kind way that there just wasnt enough damage to warrant a police report. When I finally tried to close my eyes and go to sleep last night, I just kept seeing that image of my car smashing into theirs, over and over again. UGH!
After that, I was kind of paranoid to drive for awhile, so instead of me picking up Hannah, Mike drove her to us. She was only around for about 2 hours and she whined the entire time. It made my stress levels rise even further.
When babysitting was finally over the afternoon, I drove to my ultrasound appointment at UNC Hospital. I waited for 45 mins, just to have the head nurse tell me that there was a tornado warning in our area, and they were sending everyone home! (I was thinking, "Isnt the hospital one of the safest places to be? Why do you want to send us all out into this storm?!") So, I spent an hour and a half at the hospital, had to spend $3 for parking (but I had no cash! embarrassing!), and didnt even get an ultrasound done! ThenI was forced to drive home in rush-hour traffic, which I generally like to avoid.
On the way home from that, in an awful rainstorm, I called my mom to tell her about my not-so-good day, and this is what she said "I cant talk right now, all I know is that you father has been transported to the hospital by ambulance, and is in the emergency room. Im pulling into the parking lot right now and I'll call you back later."
Wow, my day went from not-good to tragic in about 2 seconds.
I got home at 6pm, the 3 of us ate dinner and packed up the car, and started driving to Maryland at 7pm. We arrived at minight. My father had chest pain, very high blood pressure, damage to his heart, and 3 blocked arteries. (Youre not supposed to have heart attacks when youre 48 years old!) They performed surgery last night and he is recovering in the hospital for at last 2 more days. I'll be staying here with my mom indefinitely.

I am thankful that the car accident was only superficial damage, and I am so glad that my dad has been coherent and acting like himself this whole time, and that his heart damage could be caught early on. We're going to visit him in the hospital very soon.

Pregnancy Stats

According to my doctor's appointment yesterday:

5 1/2 months pregnant (23 weeks)
Starting weight: 128 lbs.
Current weight: +15 lbs.
Blood pressure: 117/59

Everything is measuring right on target.
Uterus is right where it should be. Baby is moving around all the time.
Even my thyriod gland is completely in the normal range, thanks to my medication.
New Baby's heartbeat is strong, and has consistently been in the 150's.
I feel so blessed to have a healthy little one in there!

My in-laws are visiting this week.
See you next time, with pictures!

Nicole

Picture Proof.

It's 2am, and I cannot sleep. Therefore, you get to read another entry from me.
Ok, it's mostly pictures, so not a lot of reading required. Still, here it is...

A picture of Hannah's new haircut:
Can you tell that the sides are totally uneven?! It's not too terrible, is it? And it will grow out eventually, right? Right.


Hannah took this picture of me today.


Hannah and I at the beach, in Maryland last week.


Belly shot: 21 weeks pregnant.


This week: 22 weeks pregnant. I really think my body shape changes, depending on the clothes I wear. Still, it's getting very obvious that there is a baby in my tummy.


Tonight, Hannah turned to me and asked: "Mommy, can there be TWO babies in your tummy? Can we have two babies at Christmastime? A boy AND a girl?" Haha, I almost fell off my chair from laughing! I don't think she was quite convinced that I am only having one baby at a time.


Ok, Im going to lay in bed now and stare at the ceiling until I fall asleep.
Glad I don't have any appointments or meetings to go to tomorrow... Those are all next week. I think.

A Haircut to Remember

Tonight I gave Hannah a haircut. I've never cut anyone's hair before in my life. But she needed it; it was looking really raggedy. So, very slowly and carefully, I just trimmed off about 4-5 inches in the back, straight across. She thought it was very fun and completerly hilarious that Mommy was actually cutting her hair (instead of some strange lady at the store)!

When she got into bed, she said "Maybe tomorrow we can do it again, and you can cut off even more of my hair, Mom!" Hahaha, silly girl!

Something good to remember.

Life is Good.

I woke up extra early this morning to help a friend move into their new house.
Now the pastor and his family are all moved in, just 2 miles away from us.
I joked that we were coming over for dinner tomorrow. He joked right back: "Yeah, and you can sit on a box. But whichever box you get, you have to open it and unpack it for us!" Hah.

Also had a MOPS meeting today. It was good to see those women again. My friend Joanna, who has suffered through 2 miscarriages since January, is now pregnant for the third time this year. But an ultrasound last week showed a healthy baby in there! She just hit 13 weeks and is now starting to tell everyone the good news. HOORAY! Thank you God!!!

Nine more days until my next doctor's appointment! It won't be anything special, just check vitals and listen to the heartbeat - but it's nice to know that everything is progressing well. And after that, next Wednesday, Aug 27th, I have another ultrasound at the hospital, to see if the baby's brain cyst has cleared up yet.
I keep having dreams that this baby will be a boy, but I have no clue. I mean, it's a fifty/fifty chance... who knows?

MIL and my mom's bdays are both next week. I wonder what we should send them?

Have a good weekend!

Nicole

Another Due Date

I was due to have a baby this week. My last pregnancy (which ended in miscarriage at Christmastime) was supposed to have been born by now.

It's hard for me to think about it like that. I am still so very sad for the losses I endured last year. It was honestly, easily, hands-down the worst year of my life, and honestly I couldnt be happier that 2007 is over and done with. Sometimes I look back and wonder how I got through that nightmarish period of my life.

Sweet Little Baby, I think of you all the time. Mommy and Daddy and Hannah miss you so much. Even little Hannah knew the pain and heartbreak of losing you. When your big sister is a little older, I will tell her more about you, and the other siblings that she will never get to meet. For now, I take comfort in the fact that you are in Heaven, in God's hands, experiencing no pain. The song "Glory Baby" was a good healing tool for me, and everytime I hear it, it makes me think of you. I also finished a memory book for Mother's Day, in your honor. You will always have a very special place in my heart. You were too fragile for earth, but you lived with me for six weeks, and I will never ever forget that joyful time.

Some days I still have a hard time connecting, and realizing that the new reality is: I AM pregnant again. Most days it's very hard for me to push away the doubt and fears, and actually be excited about this new little one. It's definitely a very personal, growing, difficult, healing process. These past experiences have severely tested my faith and my family relationships.

I'm sorry that it took so many losses for me to be here now. This journey has been long and hard, and it's not over yet - but I can say that I am thankful to God, for placing me where I am today.

Trip to Maryland... Etc.

So here is what we did in Maryland: Arrived on Friday afternoon, played in the pool, visited with my parents, uncle and cousin. Uncle Tony was my favorite uncle when I was growing up, because he's so silly. He acts just like a big kid. It was neat to have Hannah playing with him too. My dad make a really nice steak dinner as a thank-you to my uncle for fixing an electric problem in the basement.

On Saturday, my parents invited about 25 people over for lunch. Another big pool party. My relatives from DC ended up staying for the weekend. They had visitors from France who had never been to the Atlantic Ocean, so we thought it would be fun to show them around. We planned to drive over to the Eastern Shore for the day, maybe even spend the night there on Sunday. So, on Sunday morning we packed up the cars and started driving.... but didnt get very far. We weren't expecting traffic, and I didn't think to listen to the news at 8 or 9am on a Sunday. But, in hindsight, we should have. Traffic was backed-up for EIGHT MILES. The eastbound lanes were completely closed. It was horrible. We salvaged all that driving by spending the afternoon in Annapolis, one of my favorite towns to visit. It was my teenaged hang-out spot in high school. After we got home, we learned what had happened on the Bay Bridge.
On Monday, we spent the day with my grandparents. They live about a mile from the Bay, so Hannah still got to play in the sand, splash in the water, and collect seashells. I got some adorable pictures... but they aren't uploaded yet.

Overall, I was very impressed by how well my youngest brother played with Hannah. They interacted so well together! He's going off to his freshman year of college next week. He won't be far from my parents (Baltimore is only about an hour away from home), but I think it will be a really positive change for him.
We are still trying to convince my other brother to grow up, get out of the house, and get a job. We'll see how that goes. For the past 2 years he's been doing nothing, and I don't predict that will change anytime soon.
My newly married sister also started a new job this week, teaching history at a school that is exclusively for teenaged moms, in Baltimore. We've been playing phone tag with each other all week.

And now, we are back home in North Carolina.

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Due to Mike's pay schedule, we had to pay our mortgage a week later than usual this month, and it has really messed up our finiancial situation. I spent ZERO money while I was in Maryland. (My mom filled up my gas tank. She felt bad that I sat in traffic for two hours on Sunday, because of the Bay Bridge accident). And still, he lectured me about going to visit my family! Then when I got home, he said "hey, you don't have to work this week, why didn't you stay for a few more days?". Ahhhh, men!

Hannah and I drove home last night without incident... although she did have a hard time saying goodbye to her daddy when he left for work at 6pm. He's working the night shift this week, and he slept from 8:3-am-5:30pm today! We haven't spent any time with him since we came home. At least he has this upcoming weekend off.

Today, I felt really weak and achy and nauseous all morning, so we didn't go out or do much of anything. Plus it was rainy, so I had to keep Hannah inside anyways. We did quiet things, like playdough and crafts and reading books and coloring. Things that allowed me to sit on the couch all afternoon. Heck, I'll admite it: I didnt even change out of my pjs today! By dinnertime, I wasn't feeling so sick and nauseous, but I'm still trying to take it easy.

That was our week.
Here's to the next one...

Nicole

6 Un-Spectacular Things About Me

We got home from our little vacation this afternoon.
More on that tomorrow, when I'm thinking more clearly.
Tonight, a silly tag from my friend Krissy:

"6 UN-spectacular Things About Me"

The rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

The subject:
“6 UN-spectacular things about me”

1. I crave salads and lettuce.

2. I am very clumsy. Example: While making salad for dinner tonight, I almost chopped off my thumb by accident.

3.In middle school I was the dork with huge thick glasses and braces. How cool. Glad I outgrew those!

4. I am obsessed with photography and scrapbooking. I do not admit, not even to my husband, how much I have spent on craft supplies this year!

5. My bedspread is blue and purple with yellow flowers.

6. I need to take a shower. Now.


And here are the six wonderful people I am passing it along to:
Esther; Vanessa; Kendra; "Future Mommy" Lacie; and Mito!

Free Vacation, Here We Are!

This week I have had a lot to say, but no time to record it here. I have, however, been using my handwritten journal, so maybe someday soon I can share those pages with you. I have lots of funny Hannah stories - now if I only I can remember them!

In the meantime, we are spending a long weekend with my parents in Maryland, while Mike stays at home and works 6 days straight. This is his toughest week. On Friday morning he was facing a 12-hour shift with only three hours of sleep behind him. Poor guy! I never can understand how he goes back and forth between days and night shifts like that.

Philippians

This summer at church, we have been studying Philippians.
We heard another challenging message this morning at church.
The pastor talked about finding peace in the midst of a chaotic world.
"Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is a state of mind."

The part that is most difficult for me to put into practice, was "Give thanks IN EVERYTHING", under every circumstance. Take every thought captive. Replace bad thoughts with good ones. Focus on the positive. Imitate only Godly people. Turn your worry and stress into a prayer of thanksgiving.

I tend to be pessimistic, and focus on the negative.

Phil 4:11 - "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."
And 4:12 - "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation..."

My friend is still going through her pregnancy loss, and I know this was especially difficult for her to hear. I keep thinking about her...

Mostly Pictures.

I've set a new personal record: I've completed TWENTY scrapbook pages this week! (Thanks to Jenn!) I've finished everything, all the way up to my sister's wedding! Now I have to print more pictures so that I can keep going! I'm on a roll!
Hah - You would not believe how many glue sticks I've used up this week.


I absolutely LOVE this picture of Hannah.

And I love this expression on her face. I think she was about to drink water out of the hose.

My pregnant belly: 18 weeks.

My pregnant belly: 19 weeks.



I am so very thankful that I am healthy and everything continues to go well with this pregnancy. I can't wait to be huge and obviously pregnant, waddling around like a penguin... ok, so that part's not so comfortable. But still, I am loving it!