Sunday, January 31, 2010

Learning to Walk

Today was Mike's birthday.
Since we and everyone else in NC was snowed in, we had a very quiet day at home. (We even had "church at home"!) It would have been very nice and relaxing if I was not sick with the flu and some kind of respiratory/sinus infection. Tylenol pm is helping with the head-cold part, but not helping me sleep or keeping me from constantly coughing and sneezing.

Moving on...
In the past 4 weeks, Aliah has gone from tentatively taking her first steps in January 6th to full-time, full-force, real, life-like walking. In the past 4-5 days she has begun practically running around the house, trying to keep pace with Hannah. It is still half-surprising to see Aliah walking down the hallway with her head held high, with a doll or toy in each hand - sometimes I half-expect her to be crawling still, or just rolling around on the floor as she used to, like an infant. It astounds me how quickly children learn and grow. I want them to stay little girls forever, but I know that like us adults, they will continue to learn and grow and get older with each passing day.

Friday, January 29, 2010


I love my girls so much, and I am so thankful that I get to be a stay-at-home mom right now. But I am run-down. I give all I can to them, and don't have enough time at the end of the day to properly care for myself (let along washing things, household chores, paying bills, etc). Just feeding Aliah is a full-time job in itself! I find myself eating granola bars or chocolate milk as meals, sometimes pbj sandwiches - whatever I can grab and consume with one hand. And more often than not, remembering to take my vitamins and meds is a forgotten habit that I just can't seem to get going again.

Right now Mike is working as many overtime shifts as he can, just to ensure that we can pay all our bills and put food on the table. He is severely stressed and burned-out. He never gives himself a break.

This morning, after I had been up all night long with Hannah, who was refusing to go to sleep and insisting on interrupting my sleep-time every hour or two, Mike came home ranting about having to get a new driver's license, and how he couldn't find some important papers.... Ok yeah, the papers were important to him, but it was not necessary to wake up everyone else in the house at 8am. He acts so angry and aggressive, and I don't just mean sometimes. He doesn't have time for a hobby with his insane work schedule, so he ends up taking it out on me. It's not fair, and I'm not trying to make excuses for him... That's just what happens.

Something has got to give, but I am scared about what exactly that will be, and what it will look like.

In the meantime, we have lots of birthdays to celebrate over the next 3 weeks.
Mike is turning thirty this weekend. He is feeling really, really old.
I told him that for my birthday, I want two hours by myself. With NO interruptions. I Need Me Time. We'll see if that happens.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Who ever thought that abortion was a good idea?

Today is the 37th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.

Since then, nearly 50 million lives have
been lost to abortion. That is more than the COMBINED population of
Kentucky, Oregon, Oklahoma, Connecticut, Iowa, Mississippi, Arkansas,
Kansas, Utah, Nevada, New Mexico, West Virginia, Nebraska, Idaho,
Maine, New Hampshire, Hawaii, Rhode... Island, Montana, Delaware, South Dakota, Alaska, North Dakota, Vermont and Wyoming.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Remembering Amber Grace

We miss you, sweet baby.

Today, our little friend Amber would be celebrating her first birthday. She would eat cake & ice cream for the first time. She would be learning to take her first steps. She would clap her hands, laugh, and rip pretty paper and bows off of gifts.

Instead, this day is marked with sadness. Her parents will be trying to get through the day with empty arms and aching hearts. Rather than getting Amber a birthday present, all I can do is leave flowers on her grave, and say a prayer for her and her family.

Amber Grace was only 4 1/2 months old when she went to heaven. She went peacefully, in her sleep. Such a tragedy, what a terrible, terrible loss. We cannot understand why God chose to take her home so soon, but we can choose to accept it.

She is deeply missed by her parents, Kristie and Cory, her big sister Samantha, her grandparents, and many friends and relatives. We take comfort in the fact that she is now living with Jesus.

You live on in our hearts, dear one.
We remember you every day.

Amber Grace Rasmussen

Born January 17th 2009 ~ Reborn June 6th 2009