Friday, July 30, 2010

Baby Names...

I just made a fun baby name list. You can click here to vote on the choices:

I cant promise that Mike likes any of them, but that's ok... It's just for fun. We won't make the final decision until Delivery Day! Who knows, I might find a totally different name that I love by then. Less than four months to go!

Friday, July 16, 2010

A "new" carseat

Hannah, our little 40-lb five-and-a-half-year-old, has hit a new milestone: Today she graduated to a new car seat. It's really her old car seat, we just took out the 5-point harness, so now she gets to use it as a booster seat. She thinks this is incredibly grown-up, and even though she's been buckling herself into the car for a couple years now, it is helping her develop a new sense of independence.

Now if only she was as excited about the car seat as she is about kindergarten.... but that is a story for another day.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

To My Husband:
When you threw all of those clothes out of my closet today, I was very angry at you. I would not have been more upset if you had literally thrown it all into the garbage. Did you think I was lying, or trying to hide something, when I said that there were "only clothes" in my closet??? I feel like you completely disrespected all of my possessions and my own personal space (what little I have, if any).
I try hard to make sure that the kids and I dont inconvenience you (ESPECIALLY during weeks like this one, when you are working night shift) or create more work for you to do after you come home. I keep up with the chores and housework (yes, some days more than others). Most of all, I do my best to respect your privacy. I feel like you owe me the same basic courtesy, yet I end up stepped-on, scared to move, and struggling not to cry.
When I tried to tell you how you made me feel, it seemed as if you cut me off and quickly moved on to whatever it was that you regarded as "more important". And you know, although I hate this callous side of you, I am also resentful if it too. THat you would be so quick to dismiss me is another thing that sets me off and just makes me want to scream at you. But I dont. You, however, have no problem raising your voice, no matter who can hear you. But when I try to move our disagreement into another room, or quiet down the conversation, you refuse to back down. You accuse me of "never talking to you" and not explaining to you how I feel. and you force me to defend and retaliate. It makes me so sad. Why should our children have to hear and see all of our disagreements? Why should Hannah have to catch me crying after her bedtime?
Yes, an apology is nice, but I just want you to validate my feelings sometimes. And hearing you say "I'm sorry" does not guarantee immediate forgiveness from me, even if that is what you want, or what you expect of me as your wife. It simply does not work that way. I am human and sinful and I need time to process all of these things before I can grant you amnesty for the latest offense.
Then you offered to clean up the gigantic mess you made, which would have been helpful, but I think that is a moot point... considering that you wont be home until 8am, and I am the one who has to sleep in the master bedroom that is absolutely covered in piles of clothes. I cant see the bed, how could I possibly sleep in this hurricane-disaster-site space?
I am utterly exhausted in every way. I am tired of cleaning up everyone else's messes and barely having time to take care of my own needs. Example: It has been four days since I last took a shower. At this point I would rather stand outside in the pouring rain, rather than waste the time and energy it would take to create a warm bath.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

RLS during pregnancy?

RLS is short for Restless Leg Syndrome. I have it now, during pregnancy, and there's not much I can do to alleviate it. This means that I toss and turn a lot, it's difficult for me to feel comfortable in any position, even when lying in bed, and I don't get much rest. It takes hours and hours for me to fall asleep. During the day, my feet and legs swell and tire easily. I spend most of my afternoons on the couch, sipping water and being thankful for air-conditioning.

Typical pregnant person, huh?
Still, I like being pregnant, RLS and all.
At least I know it will come to an end eventually!