When Kids Paint Themselves...

Every weekday morning, around 8am, I watch and wave to Hannah as she rides away on the big yellow school bus. And each time I do, a special piece of my heart breaks all over again. I am not sad that she is growing up, becoming more mature and confident, or learning new things. I appreciate those changes. It is because she is doing it away from me, our home, our family... during the week, she spends about five times more time sitting in school as she does playing at home.

I wish with all my heart that I could homeschool her. She would learn things much more quickly. She could have many many more hours with her parents, siblings and friends. We would have so many more opportunities for field trips and fun days and playtime and family time.

Last summer I was struggling with the decision to put her in public school. It hasn't been the ideal educational experience, but I know she has changed and grown a lot. I love seeing that she is more confident, less shy, more sure of herself. Now that we are moving next month, I have to decide on the best school for her in Orange County. The options are limited.

Last week I toured our new neighborhood's public school. The building itself was pretty nice, but the school receptionist couldn't tell me a lot of specifics about the student body, the way a typical student's day goes, the school's philosophy of learning. She basically just gave me a tour of the physical building, and vaguely answered some (not all) of my questions. It's kind of like taking a tour of a church building. You can look at bricks, mortar, and stained glass windows all day long, but it won't help you learn about the community of people, the atmosphere of worship, the ways God is working in their lives, or the reasoning behind why they do what they do.

All that being said, I am saddened at the prospect of continuing to send Hannah away for her education. I've always thought that learning should begin at home - why not just keep it there? My husband doesn't see it this way. He thinks homeschool is more trouble than it's worth, that it would be too much of an extra burden for me with three, possibly four children at home. I am not nagging or continuing to argue with him. Instead, I am coming up with a plan of action to convince him that we should give it another trial run later this summer. I am still formulating my plan, and everyday I pray that God will give me wisdom and clarity about this decision. If I'm not meant to homeschool at this time, I will honor that, but I want it to be made clear to us.

Yesterday when Mike checked the mail, he found two magazines for me. One was a parenting magazine, the other was a homeschooling catalog. He brought it inside and excitedly said "You should take a look at this homeschool catalog. I bet you could get last year's books on sale really cheap!" I was amazed: was he suggesting what I thought he might be suggesting?! A little seed-thought was planted in my mind: What if I should home-school next year?
I had dropped the idea for awhile because he seemed so totally against it. But now I am tempted to give him an ultimatum, and suggest that if Hannah does not get accepted into any of the magnet or charter schools we've applied to, then maybe it means that God wants her to learn from home next year (along with the younger kids, of course).

I continue to be awed by the way God has calmed all my fears and worries on the subject of education. I am completely confident that He will lead us in the direction that he wants our family to go, whether it is public school, homeschool, or something else. Last year at this time I was so torn and distraught about all the different schooling options out there. But now I'm completely at peace and not losing any sleep about it at all. It makes a huge difference when you trust in God, and not yourself.

Praying for Hannah

Today I am praying for Hannah. She is not happy right now. We thought that sending her to public school for first grade would help her social skills, bring her out of her shy little shell, help her learn from someone other than her mother. And it has.... but at a cost. She has a nasty attitude about everything. She fights and argues with me every chance she gets. She's overly tired and cranky. She puts on her best face at school, then comes home and acts horribly disobedient, defiant, and downright disrespectful. My sweet sweet girl morphs into a Jekyll/Hyde monster.

It breaks my heart to see her this way. I met with her teacher on Friday to talk about her behavior, and Mrs R was genuinely shocked (as in, mouth-hanging-open shocked) to hear how Hannah's been acting at home. She doesn't display any negative behavior at school. We talked about challenging her a little more during class and engaging her with more hands-on activities. All of that is fine and good, and Mrs R is very willing to work with us. She wants the best for Hannah too. But to sum it up, the current school environment is not ideal. Nevertheless I feel that God is telling me to "wait" and "be patient." If you know me, you know I am NOT a patient person. We'll wait and see for another month. I am also considering a different local school, some charter schools, and homeschooling. This whole school decision is weighing heavily on me. I've been praying about it quite often and still don't know the right thing to do.

Life can be exhausting. Thank you God for sustaining me through the tiring times.

Playing catch-up

I have to apologize for not updating more often. I feel like I should apologize most of all to my children, because I have truly been awful at documenting their young lives. I guess our thousands and thousands of pictures will have to serve as Noah's baby book. The grandparents would be appalled to see that it is nearly blank after month two.

Hannah just got her very first report card and is excelling in 1st grade. No surprise there, since she'd already learned almost half of it beforehand through homeschooling. I am continuing to question how and where she can learn best. If it were up to me, I'd probably pull her out of public school in December (but Mike won't go for that idea). I think it would be really neat to simultaneously teach all of our kids... in the future, that is. Although, Aliah is almost ready for some basic lessons. She recognizes colors and shapes, can almost count to 20, and tries to spell her name, which goes something like this: "A-L-H. A-I-L-H. L-A-H." She really does try! She's had a bizarre rash/skin infection lately, that we've been treating without any change. Another trip to the ped on Friday. Thank You Jesus for health insurance, or else we'd be bankrupt!

Noah just hit ten months old and is the happiest baby in the house. He started to crawl towards the end of September and he is now confidently cruising around tables/chairs and other furniture. He can easily walk behind a toy and push it across the room. He had a doctor's visit last week and gained 2 lbs over the last month (take THAT, growth chart!), so he's about 20 lbs. I was secretly terrified that he had RSV, but it turned out to be croup instead. After 5 days of sleeping with a humidifier he is doing much better, but still has a lingering cough. I love this little guy so much! He is always so joyful. Noah, it is amazing that God has given you to us.

I am doing pretty well. Just trying to keep juggling all the chores and responsibilities. Our church is doing some neat things, like ChurchAtTheBallpark.com. Our pastor is a great teacher. He's really been convicting me of my sin these days. I started attending a new small group/Bible study that I really like. And I'll start babysitting again very soon. The kids always keep me busy. But I love my mommy friends, especially my MOPS girls! They help me to put things into perspective.

Mike and I haven't been sleeping very well this last month. We are saving up money to buy a new bed. He's having a lot of back pain and often wakes up at 3am and can't go back to sleep. It's affecting him all over: at work, at home, with moods, diet and exercise. He has no energy or patience (but plenty of patients ::sarcastic laugh::). We've both gained some weight in the last couple months... but it is hard change.

Maybe next time I'll share some pictures. Goodnight!

Random Hannah Quotes.

Hannah often surprises or amuses me with the things she says.

Here are some things that I found particularly funny this week:

"Sometimes I learn things so quickly. But sometimes I don't."

"Purple lettuce tastes PURPLE! That's so funny!"

"Why does Psalms start with a P, if you say it "SALMS"?

She is beginning to memorize Bible verses, and I love how excited she is about learning the Bible... bonus, it's also helping her learn to read better on her own, without Mommy having to push her quite so much!

Daddy in charge = frustrating.

I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon. Along the way I stopped to buy a new carseat for Hannah. I left the kids at home for precisely 90 minutes. Whenever Mike is left at home with them, I always come home disappointed, and the house is always a huge, gigantic disaster. Today was no exception. While Daddy was in charge, Aliah spent the hour and a half eating Fruity Pebbles, while Hannah watched 37 episodes of Thomas the Train Engine. Books and toys and little matchbox cars covered the living room floor.
Ummm... At least no one got hurt this time, right?
The twenty five minutes of peace and quiet during the car ride home was totally NOT worth all the stress and grief that I came back home to. I wish he would get more involved with them. But he does not have a single idea what to do unless I tell him, clearly and directly, about eighteen times in a row. Then occasionally he will do it. But he cant take the initiative himself. It is so frustrating!
Now he's spending the rest of his day hammering and sawing away outside, trying to built Hannah's tree house. Im glad that he is trying to get this project done, but it means that he will spend zero time with me and the kids during his days off. I just wish that he would help me instead of doing his own thing all the time. Case in point?: Yesterday I spent 4 hours at church and another 3 hours scouring a consignment sale to get cheap clothes and things we need for our kids. I made them lunch and dinner and bathe them and put them to bed. What did he do all day? Sit on the couch, hang out with his buddy, drink beer and watch football. Ok it is a day of rest on Sunday, but he didnt even bother to wash any dishes or clean the kitchen that he dirtied up! UGH!

Anyways, as for my doctor's appointment, all is well. I am a little over 31 weeks pregnant, and baby is measuring a week ahead (32.5 cms). Baby's heartrate is in the 140's, as usual. My bp is prefect at 120/60, so no concerns about pre-eclampsia this time, either. I did gain seven pounds in the last 3 weeks... ooops? I'll chalk it up to sharing my in-laws diet this past week whle we were vacationing with them, which includes lots of prepared, fatty/high-sodium foods and ice cream.
I have some kind of nasal infection that is giving me a sore throat, coughing, runny nose, congestion, ect. but it is not affecting the baby at all. I have been drinking ridiculous amounts of water, thinking that it would help, but it just makes me have to pee every 20 minutes. Lately my hips have been particularly sore and painful, but apparently this is very common with subsequent pregnancies, and I should just get used to waddling and hobbling around like an arthritic old lady for the next 2 months or so.

Beach, Day 1

It's 5am. Hannah wakes up, hears rain outside, and begins screaming "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I dont want a hurricane to come! I dont want it to knock our house down! MOMMY! Im scared!" I try to calm her down quickly and quietly, that it is only rain, and rain does not hurt us, and it's too early to be awakr. But this loud outburst wakes up her sister, and so of course Aliah wants to join in on the screaming and yelling too (even though she doesnt know what Hannah is actually talking about. She just wants to make noise).

Why do children insist on waking up early while on vacation? Come on! We're not even in a different state or time zone!

That being said, I am very grateful that we can be on vacation right now. It is good to spend time with Mike's family, and I am really grateful that he has this week off from work. He has been looking forward to getting some rest and relaxation at the beach for months and months now. Let's just hope the weather cooperates so that we can really enjoy the beach while we're here.

Homeschooling, and Hannah says....

Quote of the day from Hannah: "Can that be my chore, Mommy? Sweeping the floor in the kitchen, AND cleaning my room, AND putting all my things away? That would be a good help, wouldn't it?"

She really likes to have ownership of things. We have had a fish tank with goldfish for years, but this week she suddenly decided that they are "her" pets.

We had a rough day as far as homeschooling goes. After lunch (which is what we usually do, focus on schoolwork when Aliah is sleeping in the afternoon), around 12:30 I began to attempt her lessons for the day. It took her until 5:30 (FIVE HOURS!!!) to do the work that I asked her to do. She screaming, kicked, cried, whined, fought, slammed doors.... it was really terrible. I definitely lost my patience. But somehow, at the end, she still managed to learn. So I guess it wasnt a completely bad day.

Meanwhile, Aliah is talking up a storm, learning several new words each day. Today she put together almost a complete sentence: "read a book." Well, when she says it, it sounds more like "weeda bock", but you get the idea :) She can also say "I swing" (pronounced without an "s", of course, so that it sounds like "I Wiii!").

After dinner and playing in the yard, I gave the kids a bath (since Aliah was still covered in a grimy crust of chicken and mac-n-cheese from dinner). Hannah LOVES taking a bath with her little sister, but she really hates getting clean, especially the washing-her-hair part. I am wondering how much longer they will be able to bathe together, before it begins to get too awkward, and Hannah starts to want more privacy.

A "new" carseat

Hannah, our little 40-lb five-and-a-half-year-old, has hit a new milestone: Today she graduated to a new car seat. It's really her old car seat, we just took out the 5-point harness, so now she gets to use it as a booster seat. She thinks this is incredibly grown-up, and even though she's been buckling herself into the car for a couple years now, it is helping her develop a new sense of independence.

Now if only she was as excited about the car seat as she is about kindergarten.... but that is a story for another day.

Pictures of the Day

Like my new haircut???
I donated 12 or 14 inches to Locks of Love today.
Hannah took all of these pictures.
She also took about 18 pictures of her barbie doll sitting on the coffee table. And a video of her barbie doll sitting on the coffee table, too. The barbie didntm ove or speak, but Hannah did.

Smells like a flower, stings like a bee.

Hannah got her first bee sting today, Memorial Day 2010.
She was outside with her daddy, smelling the flowers in the front yard. Apparently someone stepped on the bee's nest and irritated them. Mike got stung first, on his toe. He told Hannah there were bees, and that she should run into the house, where it was safe. But she was so scared and panicked that she refused to move. Consequently, Hannah got stung next, on her shoulder. (I am so thankful that Aliah didn't get stung!)

Hannah acted like this bee sting was a major medical trauma. She wailed and got so upset that Aliah started in on it, too.

I tried to make this a lesson in obedience: "Hannah, when Mommy and Daddy tell you something, you need to obey. Right away." But she isn't ready to hear that quite yet.

Questions about Heaven

Last night, Hannah and I had a long conversation about going to heaven. She said she believes in God and Jesus, and knows that Jesus died for her sins "on a cross." I told her that if she believes, and says she's sorry for the wrong things she's done, then she can go to Heaven too, to live there forever. "Like Amber", she added.

Then she asked "Where is Amber's cross? Where is her body?" I had to explain the concept of a spirit to her (this is very abstract stuff for a five year old). I said something like "Your body dies, and stays here on earth, but your spirit stays alive. All of your thoughts and feelings and everything that you believe in are still alive, and that is the part of you that goes to Heaven." I dont know if she understood that, but it was the best thing I could come up with.

Hannah continues: "Well I am not ready to die on a cross." She thought that when we die, we are all crucified on crosses, as Jesus was. She was taking "die on a cross" very literally! So I explained that only Jesus had to die on the cross, not us. "He died on the cross to take away our sins", she reiterated. Yes Hannah, He died on the cross so that we don't have to.

"Ok Mommy", she said, "If I say Im sorry, then when can I get 'bappit-tized'?
Maybe when Im eight, or nine, or eleven?
I think eleven would be a good age, don't you?"

The Kitchen Queen,

Aliah is teething and not acting quite like herself this week. She spent most of the night sleeping in my arms. Everytime she touched down in her own crib, she would immediately wake up and SCREAM. It would take me 15-20 mins to calm her down, then she'd sit quietly with me. I'd hold her for a little longer, with her head rolling off my shoulder. She be trying to bend over backwards and push away from me, even in her sleep. And when I tried to put her down, it would star all over again. It reminded me of when she was a tiny infant and loved to sleep all cuddled up in your lap.

After some tylenol around 9am, she is feeling better.
Watch out though, I have no idea what will happen when it wears off.

She climbed up onto the kitchen chair all by herself, just to get at the leftover oatmeal.



In the meantime, she wants to eat CONSTANTLY. It doesn't matter how much you feed her, she will demand more food within twenty minutes. I really think this child will have an oral fixation when she gets older.

"Look at me! Im queen of the kitchen!"


And here is Hannah, busy making a picture of our house. It is her favorite thing to draw these days.

15 months old.

These pictures were taken at Duke Gardens a couple weeks ago. I forgot that they were on my camera!



Aliah had her 15-month-old check-up this week. She now weighs 23 pounds and is 31 inches tall. She has dropped from the 95 percentile to the 50th. But she never stops moving, and eats more than her big sister, so no worries there. ((My in-laws are always asking about "the newest thing" that the kids are doing and I have such a hard time thinking of anything "new" to tell them. So I was glad that I could call them with some kind of "news" to report. At this point it just seems like we are doing the same stuff over and over and over again every day.))

Poor girl had to get three shots too. Hannah said "It made me sad last time Aliah got shots. It hurt me when she got them, and I was so sad for her that I wanted to cry too." I knew she loved her baby sister, but wow, I didnt know she was quite that sensitive.

Hannah has REALLY opened up and come out of her shell lately. She is so much more outgoing and talkative and I am really proud of her. On the flip side, this means that she rarely STOPS talking. Sometimes I have to insist on "quiet time" just so I dont have to hear constant chatter all day long. And of course the girls feed off of each other. If one of them laughs or sings or cries, the other has to do it too, just 4 times louder. It is not always sweet. In fact, it can be annoying. Especially in the car.

Mike applied for a promotion at work this week. I have no idea when he will hear anything about it or how competitive it is. He has been pretty vague about describing it to me. We'll see what happens with that.... Tonight he and a friend drove to DC to participate in a Tax Day political protest at the Capital. Interesting. They are staying with my relatives in NW DC. Hope they have a good time.

Hannah prayed that they would have a safe trip home :) She really misses her daddy when he is away. I guess they both do: Tonight at bedtime, Aliah got dressed in her pjs and then ran into our room, yelling "Dada, Dada!", looking for him. She thought he was laying in bed, waiting to say goodnight. She didnt understand that he wasn't home.

Well, we'll see him on Friday night.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

Got home late last night from our trip to Nashville. It was really fun to hang out with Jeremy and Charity, but the 10-hour car ride was exhausting. (I think the last ten minutes on the way home were the worst..... the girls kept getting louder and louder and LOUDER!)

We visited the Nashville Zoo, shopped at the Opry Mills, went to church on Easter Sunday at a worship service inside of a bar & grille (sounds weird, but it was really neat!), drove around downtown Nashville, saw Jeremy's work and "Music Row", and Nashville's Parthenon. Baked cake and cookies with Charity. Took Jeremy out to lunch at the Pancake Pantry. Watched the girls hunt for Easter eggs. Fed Aliah her first tastes of candy and chocolate (she spit them out!). Visited Nashville's Adventure Science Center, and got in for free with our museum passes. And I think we also convinced our childless friends that they should start having babies soon! ;) We'll see about that.



New things that each of the girls have been doing in the past couple weeks:

Hannah has been diligently teaching herself to whistle for the past two weeks. She's almost got it. She's also really come out of her shell lately. She is rarely the shy four-year-old that most of us had come to know, accept, and love. So much so that I now have to tell her to "be quiet" much more often! During our trip I felt like she never ever stopped talking and making noise!!! She loves her little sister too much sometimes, and often gets in trouble for picking her up or squeezing her too hard.
Sometimes I feel like I am too hard on her, other times I feel we are too easy with her. It is difficult to find a balance and for us to be consistent in the way we deal with her.

Aliah is fifteen months old, very active, curious, and silly. She imitates everything she sees and hears. She still eats a ton, but at least now she doesn't shove quite as much food into her mouth at one time. Her newest words are "cookie" and "cracker". She also says her own special version of "thank you", sounding something like "gah goo". She loves her big sister, but especially lights up whenever her Daddy comes home. She will yell "Dada!" and run right at him. She is great at giving hugs and kisses. She likes to play with baby dolls, and will rock them and hold them and feed them. But she equally likes cars, trucks, sticks, rocks, and dirt. She has recently discovered the joy of sliding down sliding boards. She waves goodbye everytime we get in & out of the car, or whenever she sees another car drive by.

Our girls are so much fun and it is really neat to watch them learn and grow.
I just wish I was better at recording these kinds of things.

Dinnertime

Tonight I learned that neither of my children like asparagus.
I think I ate a pound of it all by myself (with just a little help from Mike).

Actually, Aliah doesn't seem to like any sort of cooked vegetables. This makes it kind of difficult to feed her safely, since she only has three molars so far. This means I must resort to giving her tomatoes and avocados, and teeny tiny chunks of cucumber and squash, if we have them. And I let her gnaw on baby carrots too.

Hannah is a carboholic like me. She would be happy eating cereal for breakfast, pb bread for lunch, and mac-n-cheese or pasta for dinner every day. As you can imagine, our meals are pretty boring. I am terrible at planning ahead of time and no good at putting meals together.... my gosh, I am really lazy about food.

Sharing oatmeal cookies. Spring is almost here.

After five days, Hannah's mystery fever is now gone and she's as good as new.
This afternoon I sat on the couch eating oatmeal-raisin cookies with my two girls. Aliah kept offering me her cookie, allowing me to get within a quarter-inch of it, then grabbing it away and laughing at me. She's such a little character.... and then she has a big sister to teach her all kinds of tricks, both good and bad.

I love that it is almost springtime! The nicer weather is allowing us to play outside more and get some exercise, which I desperately need - Im growing out of my pants!!! I have gained a good 10 or 15 extra pounds within the last 3 months. Not proud of that. (Last night, Hannah saw my belly and she actually asked me if I was having another baby! Eeeeek!)

I wish I was better at making posts here. Everyday there are things that I should write down but I rarely get the chance to record them before they fly out of my head. I think that is why I love pictures so much, because they can capture 1000 words with one click. They help me to remember what my holey, forgetful, falliable human brain cannot.

I am the mom of a five year old.

At Hannah's five year old check-up, she weighed 37.5 lbs (up from only 31 pounds last year!) and was 42.5 inches tall. This means that she is still tall and skinny for her age, just as she's always been. (But apparently she actually IS eating enough food to gain weight appropriately, which kind of surprised me.) We had a beach-themed birthday party for her last weekend. We made pink cupcakes for all of our friends, just like in the book "pinkalicious", which is her new favorite. ((Big thanks to Uncle Matt & Aunt Courtney, who gave us "Pinkalicious" for her birthday!))

As for Aliah, she is getting bigger and eating plenty, I assure you. She started walking confidently at the end of January, and hasn't slowed down since then. She is beginning to say things that resemble real words, instead of just baby-babble. She can say duck, dog, ball, Mama, Dada, "go", "no no no no", "what that/what this?", and a few other things. She also uses a little bit of sign language (like for "eat", "drink", "More", and "All Done"), but then resorts to grunting, grabbing and pointing most of the time if we aren't quick enough to give her what she wants.

If you havent yet, you can now befriend me on Facebook. My username is nchummel.
Sadly, I update my facebook status and the pictures there more often that the blog these days.

All I Want for Christmas...

Hannah wants a Barbie Scooter for Christmas. The three-wheel versions are all sold out. EVERYWHERE. They are out of stock at every single retailer in stores AND on the internet.
The only place I found them online were New Zealand & Australia, but shipping would take so long to arrive that it's not even worth it to try. I guess it will have to wait until her birthday.

This means that Santa is going to disappoint her for the second year in a row. Poor kid. I hope she likes this instead... it's what she's getting whether she likes it or not!

http://www.fisher-price.com/us/powerwheels/product.aspx?pid=47340