Sunday, March 16, 2008

Palm Sunday

This morning at church, the interim pastor talked about the characteristics of Jesus, and how he has fulfilled all the prophesies in the old and new testaments. Some of the things he brought up really resonated with me. He cited the passage “Jesus wept”, and went on to say that “Jesus is always with us. Even in our darkest times, even when we feel lonely and beyond hope – He is there, and he is crying with us. Jesus has a tear-stained face.” Sometimes I forget that our God has so much compassion and mercy. It was a good reminder for me. He also talked about how deeply Jesus loved all the creations in the world, especially children.

At the end of the service, they had an altar call. I have never done anything like this before, but I felt compelled to join this time. So, I knelt at the foot of the stage and prayed about my miscarriages, my pain and sorrow and sadness, and wanting to be pregnant again.
As I was praying silently, Esther reached out to me. Just the physical sensation of her rubbing my back was so comforting – it was as if God was using her to say and do exactly what I needed. It was amazing.
My favorite moment was when we were praying together, and Esther began crying (I shed a few tears myself!). She was talking about my unborn children, and she said “those little babies, up in Heaven… I miss them, I miss them so much.” It encouraged me so very much, that she validated my losses.
It was incredibly comforting to me. I feel so blessed that she is my friend.
I said “It really helps me, to know that I’m not the only one who misses them, or thinks about them.” She said she often thinks of me and the hard things I’ve faced this year… supporting her through the birth of her son, just days after my second loss; how we would have been pregnant together last year; how our second children would have only been a few months apart.

It is so true, that grief is eased when shared by two. (Is that a bible verse?)

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