Tuesday, May 20, 2014

tough decisions

Last week, I was faced with a major, life-changing decision. The sort of decision that would greatly impact each member of our family, as well as others. This decision would completely change our family life, our daily schedule, and everything in our household that we currently take for granted.

It is a big deal.

Whichever way I chose, I felt like someone would lose.

There would be sacrifices and heartache and hard times.
There would be greater demands on me and my time.
There would be shouts of "unfair!" from the kids, no matter what I did. 

I wrestled with this decision and thought about it a lot.
I prayed about it night and day for 2 solid days.

Finally, with tears and some fear, I said yes.
Yes Lord, I will obey what you are asking me to do.
Yes Lord, I will do this difficult task that you are putting in front of me.

I am still nervous about what He has planned for us, but I will choose to walk by faith, not by sight. Because the things of this world are fleeting. Our time here is short and precious. And how we spend our time and our resources should impact eternity, not the popular opinion.  I can't stay the same and take the easy way out. I can't refuse to change, yet still expect to see God continue working in me.

One of the first Bible verses I memorized as a young child (after John 3:16 and Psalms 3:5-6), was Hebrews 11:1. I remember my youth pastor quoting it often, challenging us, asking "What is faith?" I'm not sure exactly what version I was taught, but in my mind, the verse says "Faith is being SURE of what you HOPE for, and CERTAIN of what you DO NOT SEE." That's what I'm striving for. Being certain of my hope and my future, even in the midst of uncertainty. (also see Jer. 29:11)

It will be a few months until we see the impact of these changes in our family.
I can't share a lot of details yet, because none of it is quite certain.
For now though, I will trust in God alone, and prepare my heart and mind for whatever is coming next.

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