Friday, March 27, 2009

Anniversary of a loss.

It's been a little over two years since my first miscarriage. I have not forgotten, but the pain and heartache is considerably less than it was in 2007 and 2008.

I remember feeling a whole lot of anger and bitterness at first. Now, it is just sadness, and thankfulness for what I do have.

On the anniversary date, I was kind of down, but didnt realize exactly why until almost a full week later. I think that is because, although I never will forget that day, I think of my losses as more of a season than a specific day: Spring for 1, Summer (Father's Day) for 2, and Christmastime for 3.

When I visited Maryland last weekend, I learned that a childhood friend had recently suffered through a miscarriage. It was her first pregnancy. It seems like she has a lot of support, and I am grateful that she does, because I remember feeling so very alone. She seemed to be dealing very well, especially since the whole pregnancy was a surprise in the first place. I'm glad I could talk with her about it, and that she opened up to me and was willing to share her story.

I am still working on writing my miscarrige book. The words come slowly, in little entires or essays here and there. I hope that one day I can make something beautiful and cohesive out of all these thoughts and prayers.


Another Muggle said...

I cannot even start to imagine how terrible a miscarriage must feel like and I am sorry that you had to go through it.


HeatherV said...

Glad you were able to support a friend who has suffered the pain of a miscarriage. A friend and me went through a miscarriage at the same time and really pulled each other through. Glad God is using your pain to help others.