Friday, June 27, 2014

I want proof!

Yesterday we had another worker visit us in conjunction with the foster baby. They talked with each family member, and asked normal questions about the child's growth and development. 

They also continue to ask, at each visit: "Would you adopt if you could?"  

We've made it perfectly clear that we'd be very happy to adopt the child, if possible

Why can't we just leave it at that? 

We all cherish this child and act like they are part of the family. I think it just bothers the stuffings out of me that they are insinuating that this child will be "ours", when there are living relatives around, and that adoption is clearly not happening anytime in the near future.

I am really trying not to get my hopes up about adoption in this case because the birth family is such a wildcard... and I know that the whole legal process can take a long, long time. It just bothers me that they keep dangling the possibility of adoption when no permanency plan has been established yet.

I am preparing myself, my heart, and the minds of my other children for a long wait, and I'm trying my best to be patient in this situation.  But when they throw around words like adoption, and continue to bring up concepts such as permanency planning, terminating parental rights, etc.... It kind of bothers me. You know why? It bothers me because there is no certainty. I think that's the heart of it. I want proof! I don't want a carrot dangling in front of us. I want something concrete. Something that says this little one can stay with us. Forever, if possible. (My girls vote for "forever" too.) I don't want to voice the possibility of adoption if it will end in disruption or failure, especially if the biological family reunifies.

But that's just the thing.... Being a foster parent is anything BUT certain or concrete or permanent. I can't get answers, because really, at this point there are none. So again, God must teach me to be patient and wait. Why did I sign up for this again?! Oh, right, to help children.... so that's what I'm doing. Trying to live life in the moments, one day, one hour at time, and cherish every single one of them.

Thanks for listening to my little rant.

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