Today is known to me as "Amber's Day". Three years ago, when Amber was just four months old, she was taken from this world and went to live in heaven.
Her mom and dad are such strong people of faith, and they have taught me so much in the past three years. Amber also has two sisters here on earth, who will one day see her in heaven, the place of no more tears. Her mom recently told me that through the loss of Amber, she has learned the difference between being "happy" and being "joyful." She said that days like this, when she remembers Amber and the life she had, are not always necessarily happy, but that God has given her an almost supernatural peace and a joy in knowing that Amber is with Jesus in heaven, which is a far better place to live. I'm so glad that I could spend time with my dear friend today, on Amber's Day. I hope that she is lifted up by those who know the grief she's beared, and that she realizes how much encouragement she brings to me personally.
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Last night I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about all the different children out there without a mom and dad, without a safe, permanent place to live. Then I started thinking about all the other people related to orphans/foster kids: the agencies and caseworkers and legal guardians and lawyers and other caretakers involved. That's a whole lot of orchestrating, a lot of details and logistics to work out... and a lot of people that could be influenced and encouraged by the Gospel.
Suddenly, I realized that *I* don't have to worry about what my role will be, what I should say or do. *I* don't have to scroll through lists of names and faces, wondering if this or that child is meant to be part of our family. I don't have to, because God's got it all under control. HE is calling me (us) to foster or adopt, HE has put this burden on my heart, and HE will work it out for good. I shouldn't be worried or anxious. I don't have to stay up late at night worrying about how I can't adopt thousands of kids, of course I can't do that. But it does comfort me to know that HE has each of them in the palm of his hand.
This video is a powerful testimony of how God is using one family to reach people in Durham County through foster care and adoption: http://vimeo.com/25585040
If you are reading my blog, especially if you've stumbled upon it recently, please leave a response. It is kind of therapeutic for me to write these things down, but it is also nice to know that I'm not talking to myself all the time. It would be really nice to hear from you.
1 comment:
Nicole,
it's good to hear your thoughts. Actually I was thinking about adoption today too and praying that if God wants that for us, that He will clear the hurdles for us. Are you still considering homeschooling? How is your move coming?
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