frustrated

I am so frustrated. I am trying not to let my fears, insecurities, and anxiety get the best of me... but some days, and some moments, it does. As a mother (and a foster mom), there are days when I wake up, and before my day even starts, I am bombarded with negative thoughts. Thoughts such as "I can't accomplish half of that to-do list. I certainly won't get a shower today. That mountain of laundry is too much for me. I can't even feed these kids a healthy meal!" I feel like I am failing before I even begin!

It's a good thing that each day gives us a new start, or I don't know how I'd get through the horrible ones.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss

In case you didn't know, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It is a day when women break the silence and stigma of suffering through a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. In fact, some people dedicate the entire month of October to this cause.

I want to share this article today by Nance Davis Johnson: The Other Quiet Mom
"The quietest mom may be the one whose children aren't always included in the answer to "how many kids does she have?" Maybe you don't know what it feels like to have been through this kind of loss. Maybe this woman's words will give you some insight, or resonate with you somehow. Ans with this article, maybe you will learn something to say, or not to say, to a person who is grieving for their child. 

It's been 7 years since my miscarriages. The pain has certainly lessened, and it is no longer something that I think about every single day, every single hour, but the loss never really leaves you. I have several close friends who have had babies born too soon, babies who left this world long before we thought they should.

Tonight I will be lighting a candle at 7pm, and as it flickers, I will be thinking of all the little lives that ended far too soon.