This week, I am reading an excellent book about foster care: "Another Place at the Table" by Kathy Harrison. The subtitle: a story of shattered childhoods redeemed by love. It is an honest, genuine account of one family's foster care experiences in Massachusetts in the 1990s. The stories she shares will make you laugh and cry.
This is my favorite paragraph so far:
"....finding families willing to open their doors to the rigors of foster parenting is hard. Fostering means knowing about things that most of us would prefer to forget. It means recognizing that our best is often not good enough. It means only knowing the difficult beginnings of a story and being forced to imagine the end. It means loving children who will ultimately leave us, and then drying our tears and letting ourselves love again."
I think that sums it up pretty well.
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Monday, April 28, 2014
Friday, March 27, 2009
Anniversary of a loss.
It's been a little over two years since my first miscarriage. I have not forgotten, but the pain and heartache is considerably less than it was in 2007 and 2008.
I remember feeling a whole lot of anger and bitterness at first. Now, it is just sadness, and thankfulness for what I do have.
On the anniversary date, I was kind of down, but didnt realize exactly why until almost a full week later. I think that is because, although I never will forget that day, I think of my losses as more of a season than a specific day: Spring for 1, Summer (Father's Day) for 2, and Christmastime for 3.
When I visited Maryland last weekend, I learned that a childhood friend had recently suffered through a miscarriage. It was her first pregnancy. It seems like she has a lot of support, and I am grateful that she does, because I remember feeling so very alone. She seemed to be dealing very well, especially since the whole pregnancy was a surprise in the first place. I'm glad I could talk with her about it, and that she opened up to me and was willing to share her story.
I am still working on writing my miscarrige book. The words come slowly, in little entires or essays here and there. I hope that one day I can make something beautiful and cohesive out of all these thoughts and prayers.
I remember feeling a whole lot of anger and bitterness at first. Now, it is just sadness, and thankfulness for what I do have.
On the anniversary date, I was kind of down, but didnt realize exactly why until almost a full week later. I think that is because, although I never will forget that day, I think of my losses as more of a season than a specific day: Spring for 1, Summer (Father's Day) for 2, and Christmastime for 3.
When I visited Maryland last weekend, I learned that a childhood friend had recently suffered through a miscarriage. It was her first pregnancy. It seems like she has a lot of support, and I am grateful that she does, because I remember feeling so very alone. She seemed to be dealing very well, especially since the whole pregnancy was a surprise in the first place. I'm glad I could talk with her about it, and that she opened up to me and was willing to share her story.
I am still working on writing my miscarrige book. The words come slowly, in little entires or essays here and there. I hope that one day I can make something beautiful and cohesive out of all these thoughts and prayers.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
VBS, and funny three-year-old questions
Really busy this week with VBS and meetings and other random outings.
I was kind of dreading being the co-leader of the VBS program this year. Even though it's not as organized and well-put-together as I would have liked, it's not so bad! It seems like the kids are actually learning and having fun, so who am I to complain?! Surprisingly, all the parents have been complimenting me, too. I can't really take the credit (it's all about God, and learning about the Bible, not me. Basically all I do is recite a script!). But instead of this week being a huge stressful hassle, it has been a good experience so far, for which I am grateful.
Mike is working the night shift this week, so every night, for at least 20-30 minutes, I've been trying to write a little more of my book.
New Baby's ultrasound is in eight days and twelve hours! I can't wait to see all the little fingers and toes, and healthy vital organs. I told Hannah that she can come to the doctor's office with us and see New Baby on a little TV screen.
Hannah has been asking a LOT of questions lately, and sometimes I find it hard to balance giving her the right answers vs. not giving her TOO much information. For example, as we were bathing tonight, she asked "Mommy, why do you have those things on your chest?" and then continued with "But why do you have TWO of them?" I finally just told her that was the way God made me. What else could I say?!
I was kind of dreading being the co-leader of the VBS program this year. Even though it's not as organized and well-put-together as I would have liked, it's not so bad! It seems like the kids are actually learning and having fun, so who am I to complain?! Surprisingly, all the parents have been complimenting me, too. I can't really take the credit (it's all about God, and learning about the Bible, not me. Basically all I do is recite a script!). But instead of this week being a huge stressful hassle, it has been a good experience so far, for which I am grateful.
Mike is working the night shift this week, so every night, for at least 20-30 minutes, I've been trying to write a little more of my book.
New Baby's ultrasound is in eight days and twelve hours! I can't wait to see all the little fingers and toes, and healthy vital organs. I told Hannah that she can come to the doctor's office with us and see New Baby on a little TV screen.
Hannah has been asking a LOT of questions lately, and sometimes I find it hard to balance giving her the right answers vs. not giving her TOO much information. For example, as we were bathing tonight, she asked "Mommy, why do you have those things on your chest?" and then continued with "But why do you have TWO of them?" I finally just told her that was the way God made me. What else could I say?!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Today was...
Today was a GOOD day! :)
Got to talk with Esther for 30 mins this morning! We hadn't spoken since they left on Sunday night. Both boys are doing well in the car, no one has gotten hurt or pulled out their hair yet, and Ezra got his first tooth yesterday!!!
Esther said that today it is SNOWING in Idaho and Wyoming - It's May, quit snowing already, for pete's sake!
After lunch, we were babysitting for 4-5 hours. The kids played outside the whole time. I struggled and fought with them to put sunscreen on, but other than that, they were just really fun, having a blast, very well-behaved. All 3 of them ran through the sprinkler and got wet & muddy. I took some really neat pictures. So cute! Then we played hide-n-seek. The five-year-old found some really good places to hide. Once he was under the car, so far that I couldnt see him, and Hannah had to point him out to me!
Still haven't told The Mom (my "boss") that I am pregnant. This afternoon, one of her best friends came over to talk about her pregnancy - the friend is due exactly one month before me! I didnt want to step on her toes, since I don't know the friend very well, so I didnt say anything about myself.
I am waiting until Mother's Day weekend to tell our parents the big news. I'll be about 8 weeks by then. Last year, I never made it past seven weeks, so that will be a big milestone for me.
If you are wondering, my book is about my TTC and infertilty/miscarriage experiences.
No other moms came to the MOPS meeting this week. I'm getting really discouraged. I've been praying and asking God to lead me, and guide me in the right direction - I'm just really confused as to where I should go from here. Should I keep pressing on? Should I renew our MOPS membership for the fall, even though we have no members?! Should I give up on this new group, and lead an already-established group that is farther from home? Should I look for a new church? Am I missing something, or doing anything wrong? Should I just wait and see? I don't know!
I've been wrestling with this for about a month, and I still don't know.
I think sometimes I really need to work on being quiet and still, and just trusting in God.
Lacie and Krissy and Ally, and whoever else is interceding to God on my behalf: THANK YOU! I can feel your prayers!
Got to talk with Esther for 30 mins this morning! We hadn't spoken since they left on Sunday night. Both boys are doing well in the car, no one has gotten hurt or pulled out their hair yet, and Ezra got his first tooth yesterday!!!
Esther said that today it is SNOWING in Idaho and Wyoming - It's May, quit snowing already, for pete's sake!
After lunch, we were babysitting for 4-5 hours. The kids played outside the whole time. I struggled and fought with them to put sunscreen on, but other than that, they were just really fun, having a blast, very well-behaved. All 3 of them ran through the sprinkler and got wet & muddy. I took some really neat pictures. So cute! Then we played hide-n-seek. The five-year-old found some really good places to hide. Once he was under the car, so far that I couldnt see him, and Hannah had to point him out to me!
Still haven't told The Mom (my "boss") that I am pregnant. This afternoon, one of her best friends came over to talk about her pregnancy - the friend is due exactly one month before me! I didnt want to step on her toes, since I don't know the friend very well, so I didnt say anything about myself.
I am waiting until Mother's Day weekend to tell our parents the big news. I'll be about 8 weeks by then. Last year, I never made it past seven weeks, so that will be a big milestone for me.
If you are wondering, my book is about my TTC and infertilty/miscarriage experiences.
No other moms came to the MOPS meeting this week. I'm getting really discouraged. I've been praying and asking God to lead me, and guide me in the right direction - I'm just really confused as to where I should go from here. Should I keep pressing on? Should I renew our MOPS membership for the fall, even though we have no members?! Should I give up on this new group, and lead an already-established group that is farther from home? Should I look for a new church? Am I missing something, or doing anything wrong? Should I just wait and see? I don't know!
I've been wrestling with this for about a month, and I still don't know.
I think sometimes I really need to work on being quiet and still, and just trusting in God.
Lacie and Krissy and Ally, and whoever else is interceding to God on my behalf: THANK YOU! I can feel your prayers!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
And the eyes have it.
Mike went to the optometrist this morning, and after some deliberation... he scheduled laser eye surgery for April 8th.
This is something he has wanted to do for many years, and we are now in a financial position to do it. He is pleasantly surprised that the whole process will go so quickly; for some reason he was under the impression that he would have to have eye exams every few months for over a year, before he could be considered for the surgery. But they say he is a good candidate.
So, hopefully in a few weeks, he will no longer need glasses! He'll be able to see much better, and won't struggle with fine print, or strain to watch tv anymore. I am excited for him.
Mike also got his annual review yesterday. He was given an excellent recommendation, and a small raise. He's been clashing with his supervisor a lot this past year, so getting the raise was somewhat surprising (she doesn't grant them easily). He also spoke yesterday with a county supervisor about some changes that he would like to implement at work.
I got a strange request tonight from my MIL. She asked that next time I visit, I bring my craft supplies, and teach her how to scrapbook! Since she's been fueling my scrap habit for years with Michael's giftcards every holiday, how could I say no?!
Last night I stayed up until 3am, writing the first portion of my book. It is still very much a rough draft, but I feel an urgency to write down everything I can remember. I don't want my memories to fade. I don't want to forget any of the details, the emotions, the events that took place. I know this project will take a long time, but I am glad that I am making a little bit of progress, slowly, day by day.
Please respond to let me know you've been here.
I'd love to know who's been reading my blog!
Nicole
This is something he has wanted to do for many years, and we are now in a financial position to do it. He is pleasantly surprised that the whole process will go so quickly; for some reason he was under the impression that he would have to have eye exams every few months for over a year, before he could be considered for the surgery. But they say he is a good candidate.
So, hopefully in a few weeks, he will no longer need glasses! He'll be able to see much better, and won't struggle with fine print, or strain to watch tv anymore. I am excited for him.
Mike also got his annual review yesterday. He was given an excellent recommendation, and a small raise. He's been clashing with his supervisor a lot this past year, so getting the raise was somewhat surprising (she doesn't grant them easily). He also spoke yesterday with a county supervisor about some changes that he would like to implement at work.
I got a strange request tonight from my MIL. She asked that next time I visit, I bring my craft supplies, and teach her how to scrapbook! Since she's been fueling my scrap habit for years with Michael's giftcards every holiday, how could I say no?!
Last night I stayed up until 3am, writing the first portion of my book. It is still very much a rough draft, but I feel an urgency to write down everything I can remember. I don't want my memories to fade. I don't want to forget any of the details, the emotions, the events that took place. I know this project will take a long time, but I am glad that I am making a little bit of progress, slowly, day by day.
Please respond to let me know you've been here.
I'd love to know who's been reading my blog!
Nicole
Thursday, March 6, 2008
A random day in my life.
Hannah didnt have ANY accidents yesterday, so after dinner last night, we let her eat a piece of chooclate as a reward.
Today she only had one accident, after dinner tonight. She's doing really well.Tomorrow she has dance class, we'll see how it goes!
We're also getting her new bunk bed tomorrow! (it FINALLY got delivered to the store yesterday.) I hope Mike isnt too tired to put it together this weekend - I am so excited for her, and Ive really been hyping it up! She'll have new sheets and blankets, and Im even getting her new pretty purple curtains that match the bedding. I also rearranged all the furniture in her room the other day, to make things fit better and give her more space to play.
My babysitting family returned from their ski trip last night, so it was back to work for me today. We had fun with the kids. Their almost-five-year-old made up a HILARIOUS song about a little pig looking for food. He and his sister sang and danced together in unison. I wish I'd had my video camera! I guess you would've had to be there - when the parents got home from work and saw the performance, they were doubled-over laughing. Good times.
We also made up a really silly story about "Mike the Ambulance Driver." (sound like someone we might know?) Then it digressed into a weird version of cops and robbers, and by the end of their "book", we were back in medieval times, with knights and horses and castles.
It amazes me, all the things that can go through the mind of a preschooler, just in one afternoon. After that, we pretended to be Superheros, and danced around the living room. No wonder Hannah learned how to sing the Batman theme song by age 2 1/2!
Their grandparents showed up and fed them each 2 huge oatmeal cookies around 5pm. (I was like "Way to go, now they wont eat dinner.") I left as they were putting dinner on the table and the kids were having huge meltdowns. I said "Bye, have a good night!" and Hannah and I drove away, back to our own house.
I joke with them that my job is like renting their kids for the afternoon... and I get paid to play with preschoolers all the time. But even though I like them, Im secretly relieved when I go home and leave them there! Sometimes it's just too much chaos for me. Most days, I am very thankful for Hannah's calmer, quieter personality.
I just finished reading the book "THE PACT" by Jodi Picoult, and it was AMAZING! If you ever get the chance, read this book. I couldn't put it down! Two thumbs up.
Here's to a good weekend for everyone....
Today she only had one accident, after dinner tonight. She's doing really well.Tomorrow she has dance class, we'll see how it goes!
We're also getting her new bunk bed tomorrow! (it FINALLY got delivered to the store yesterday.) I hope Mike isnt too tired to put it together this weekend - I am so excited for her, and Ive really been hyping it up! She'll have new sheets and blankets, and Im even getting her new pretty purple curtains that match the bedding. I also rearranged all the furniture in her room the other day, to make things fit better and give her more space to play.
My babysitting family returned from their ski trip last night, so it was back to work for me today. We had fun with the kids. Their almost-five-year-old made up a HILARIOUS song about a little pig looking for food. He and his sister sang and danced together in unison. I wish I'd had my video camera! I guess you would've had to be there - when the parents got home from work and saw the performance, they were doubled-over laughing. Good times.
We also made up a really silly story about "Mike the Ambulance Driver." (sound like someone we might know?) Then it digressed into a weird version of cops and robbers, and by the end of their "book", we were back in medieval times, with knights and horses and castles.
It amazes me, all the things that can go through the mind of a preschooler, just in one afternoon. After that, we pretended to be Superheros, and danced around the living room. No wonder Hannah learned how to sing the Batman theme song by age 2 1/2!
Their grandparents showed up and fed them each 2 huge oatmeal cookies around 5pm. (I was like "Way to go, now they wont eat dinner.") I left as they were putting dinner on the table and the kids were having huge meltdowns. I said "Bye, have a good night!" and Hannah and I drove away, back to our own house.
I joke with them that my job is like renting their kids for the afternoon... and I get paid to play with preschoolers all the time. But even though I like them, Im secretly relieved when I go home and leave them there! Sometimes it's just too much chaos for me. Most days, I am very thankful for Hannah's calmer, quieter personality.
I just finished reading the book "THE PACT" by Jodi Picoult, and it was AMAZING! If you ever get the chance, read this book. I couldn't put it down! Two thumbs up.
Here's to a good weekend for everyone....
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