Depressed.

I have PPD again. I am not surprised. ((Actually, I thought it would have kicked in sooner, like in February, when Aliah was so sick.)) But I am kind of worried, wondering how we will afford to get me the help I need.

Anyway, as of Monday, I am back on Zoloft again. I am so tired of putting on a happy face and trying to act like Im fine, because Im not. I am frustrated and fed-up and feeling guilty about every little thing I do. And I can't keep taking it out on the people closest to me. It is not fair to my family and it is not fair to myself.

Yesterday was terrible. We were scheduled to do nothing, but by lunchtime I had a houseful of FIVE kids! It was a really really really long day. We didnt get home from babysitting drop-off until 5:45, then I had to lead MOPS at 6:30 - and only one other person showed up. Bust.

To top it off, Hannah now has a really awful case of diarhea. Poor girl! I feel terrible for her and Mike is really paraniod that she will get Aliah sick again. Do you know how impossible it is to keep two children away from each other when you only live in a 1100-square-foot house?